[E]xperts say that forgiving those who have wronged us helps lower blood pressure, cholesterol, and heart rate. One study found that forgiveness is associated with improved sleep quality, which has a strong effect on health. And Duke University researchers report a strong correlation between forgiveness and strengthened immunity among HIV-positive patients. The benefits aren’t just limited to the physical, either: Letting go of old grudges reduces levels of depression, anxiety, and anger. People who forgive tend to have better relationships, feel happier and more optimistic, and overall, enjoy better psychological well-being.
Letting go isn’t easy, but will probably be better for you in the long run than holding onto grudges.
It’s a difficult process, Enright says, one that “takes serious hard work over months” or even a year. The first step is understanding what forgiveness is: a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge, and perhaps even reaching a place of understanding, empathy, and compassion. It’s not reconciling. And it’s not forgetting—in fact, “it’s important to remember what hurt you so you can avoid it in the future,” Howes says. Forgiveness also doesn’t justify or excuse what the other person did. Rather, it helps achieve a sense of peace.