You can train your mind to be unhappy and you can train it to be happy.
Training your mind to look for errors and problems (as happens in careers like accounting and law) can lead you toward a pervasive pessimism that carries over into your personal life.
Here are the three ways to help break these negative loops:
1. Three Blessings
You must teach your brain to seek out the good things in life. Research shows merely listing three things you are thankful for each day can make a big difference.
Via Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being:
Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep. Write down three things that went well today and why they went well. You may use a journal or your computer to write about the events, but it is important that you have a physical record of what you wrote. The three things need not be earthshaking in importance […] Next to each positive event, answer the question “Why did this happen?”
2. Social Comparison
People probably encourage you to not compare yourself to others. Research shows it’s not necessarily harmful — but only compare yourself to those worse off than you:
“Generally if people compare themselves to those who are worse off, they’re going to feel better,” […] “When they compare themselves to people who are better off, it can make them feel worse.”
3. Tell Yourself The Right Stories
When your vision of your life story is inadequate, depression can result. Psychotherapists actually help “rewrite” that story and this process is as, if not more, effective than medication.
Via The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human:
According to the psychologist Michele Crossley, depression frequently stems from an “incoherent story,” an “inadequate narrative account of oneself,” or “a life story gone awry.” Psychotherapy helps unhappy people set their life stories straight; it literally gives them a story they can live with. And it works.
“Retrospective judgment” means reevaluating events and putting a positive spin on them. Naturally happy people do it automatically, but it’s something you can teach yourself.
Via Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth:
Lyubomirsky showed that happy people naturally reinterpret events so that they preserve their self-esteem.
So, to sum up:
• Count your blessings
• Only compare yourself to those worse off than you
• Tell yourself a positive story about the challenges in your life